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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27063616">What If It's Me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jude27/pseuds/jude27'>jude27</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:41:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27063616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jude27/pseuds/jude27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter doesn't like John all that much. He can be quite mean sometimes, but other times he seems like he really cares. Peter doesn't know whether the way he's treated is normal, maybe he's just overreacting. Maybe he's just remembering things wrong and John isn't really bad at all. Maybe, Peter thinks, it's just him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>May Parker (Spider-Man) &amp; Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man)/Original Male Character(s), Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey guys!!<br/>I'm super excited to share this with you! It is my first fanfic ever so it probably won't be the best but I hope you guys will enjoy it! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Peter hears when he wakes up is the sound of rain softly pattering against his window. He opens his eyes a crack and he sees a shaft of dim light illuminate the wall beside his bed. He can hear John's snores through the wall still and May in the kitchen starting the coffee maker. He feels a small sense of relief that he will be able to spend some time with May without John around, and instantly feels guilty for thinking that. He should be happy to spend time with him, but he just can't bring himself to genuinely regret the thought. He changes into a pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt quietly before opening his door and stepping into the hall. He makes a stop at the bathroom and then joins May in the kitchen. </p><p>"Good morning Peter," May says with a smile on her face as she turns to face him.<br/>
"Good morning May. How'd you sleep?"<br/>
"Pretty good sweetie, how about you?"<br/>
"Fine," Peter responds. Truthfully, he had been on his phone until around midnight and was hoping to sleep in this morning as it was Saturday, but alas, here he is, up at 7am. He smiles at May before stepping around her to grab a piece of bread to toast. He wishes it could be like this all of the time. Just him and May. When it's just him with May he can relax, feel peaceful. But unfortunately, that peace can only last so long, "Good morning," A gruff voice calls from the hall.<br/>
"Good morning," both Peter and May respond. May walks towards the hallways and meets John at the edge where they embrace. Peter chooses to focus on buttering his toast. He looks at the floor as he makes his way to the table to eat. Their apartment is quite small, thanks New York rent, so their dining room table is partly in the kitchen. As May and John continue talking he sits down at the seat where his back is facing their living room. He looks down at his toast before taking a bite. May gets up and walks down the hall towards her room to get ready for work as John says, "Hey, Pete?" Peter looks up to John before responding,<br/>
"Yeah?"<br/>
"Is that your breakfast?" He looks down at the bread in Peter's hand with raised eyebrows.<br/>
"Um... Yeah," Peter responds, somewhat timidly.<br/>
"That's a ridiculously small amount of food for a whole meal, don't you think? You're a growing boy Peter, you need to eat much more than that." John states, anger seeping into his tone.<br/>
"Okay"<br/>
"Come on Peter, you think at this age you would know how to feed yourself. I mean how hard is it to make yourself breakfast? Is it really so hard that you can't even make yourself some cereal or something? Do you really think that what you're eating is healthy?" Of course Peter knows that a piece of bread isn't the healthiest or the most hardy, he's seventeen for christ sake, but he honestly hasn't felt very hungry lately. He also got into the habit of trying not to eat too much because he knows how expensive food is. And before John came along money was really tight. Not responding right away was obviously not the right thing to do, because now John is even more upset. "Peter? Do you? Because if you do there's something seriously wrong."<br/>
"Sorry, I'll go and make some cereal," Peter responds, tone flat.<br/>
"Good," John says before moving towards the coffee maker and grabbing a mug. Peter finishes his toast quickly and stands, moving towards the cupboards to grab a bowl. He feels apathetic and numb as he sets it on the counter and grabs the box of cheerios and milk. John finishes making his coffee beside him and goes into the living room and sits on his chair, grabbing the remote from the side table to turn on the tv as he does so. The quiet voices from the tv mix with the patter of rain on the windows as Peter grabs a spoon and sits at the table facing the living room. He tries to finish the cereal as fast as he can so he can leave for his room. </p><p>After he cleans his bowl and spoon in the sink and puts them on the drying rack he goes to walk down the hall to his room, but is stopped by John. "Hey," John calls out to Peter.<br/>
"Yeah?"<br/>
"You know that I was only saying that because I want you to be healthy, right? I only said it because I want to make sure that you're eating good," He says.<br/>
"Yeah, I know."<br/>
"Good, good," John says before returning his gaze towards the tv. Peter walks to his room and as soon as he shuts his door behind his back he can feel some of the tension leave his shoulders.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys! Here's chapter two, it picks up right after chapter one. Hope you enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter walks away from his door and to the edge of his bed. He sits down and just stares at the wall for a few seconds before grabbing his backpack from the floor. The rain has slowed slightly, though the glass of his window is still foggy around the edges and the sky is a dark gray. He grabs his biology notes and textbook and starts on his homework for the weekend. </p>
<p>---------</p>
<p>Peter yawns and leans back in his chair, raising his arms over his head and stretching out. He looks out his window and realizes that he must have been working much longer than he had thought as the sky is already dark. He glances at his phone for the time and sees that it’s already 6:00. May should be getting home soon, so he decides to go sit in the living room to greet her when she comes home. His stomach squeezes when he sees that John is still sitting in his chair. He tries to ignore it as he walks past John and sits on the couch. John works as a mechanic at a garage in Queens. They are closed on weekends so he usually spends them at the apartment with Peter, which Peter isn’t particularly fond of. He used to love having Ned over all the time on weekends to build different Lego models and watch sci-fi movies. Now, Peter never invites Ned over. He doesn’t want to ask John. He had tried in the past, but John had gotten upset that Peter had asked. He doesn’t even see Ned much outside of school now. John didn’t like it when Peter went out. He never outright said that, but whenever Peter asks he always complains about how Peter spends too much time out, or how he would have to drive him places, even though Peter said he was fine with walking or taking the subway. And even when Peter was able to hang out with Ned John would text almost every ten minutes asking where he was, what he was doing, and who he was with. Whenever Peter would go over to Ned’s house he would receive a text from John soon after arriving that he was coming to pick him up, cutting his time with Ned short. So eventually, he just stopped going out. Which was fine with him really, he could go out if he wanted to, but he just doesn’t want to much, that’s all. </p>
<p>“Hey Pete,” John’s voice calls him out from his thoughts. <br/>“Hey.”<br/>“What were you doing in your room today,” John turns to face him as he asks.<br/>“Homework, I have a test in biology Tuesday,” Peter responds.<br/>“You were studying that whole time? Really? Why didn’t you come to hang out with me at all? I was here all alone all day.” For some reason that just makes Peter angry. He was working all day and even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t want to spend time with John. Whenever he does, it normally ends with him being yelled at and sue him for not enjoying it. <br/>“Sorry, I just have to make sure I know all of the content for the test, it’s on this whole unit,” Peter lets a little bit of annoyance slip into his tone and regrets it immediately.<br/>“Excuse me? I really don’t appreciate the tone you have. Is that really anyway to talk to me?” John’s voice quickly turns to yelling as he continues, “Do you really think I deserve that kind of disrespect when all I am trying to do is have a conversation with you. You have no right to talk to me like that Peter. I don’t know what is going on with you for you to act like this but it is unacceptable. I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour from you,” John keeps on talking but Peter can barely register it. </p>
<p>When this first started, Peter would listen to each and every word John had to say to him when he got like this. Peter would get angry sometimes, and stand up for himself. He couldn’t comprehend why John would react with such anger towards him when it clearly didn’t match the situation at hand. After a few times, though, Peter learned that trying to defend himself only gave John fuel. A couple of times in the past Peter even started to cry. He felt so terrible, John would make a huge deal out of the littlest things, blowing every thing Peter did way out of proportion. He really tried not to cry, but sometimes he just couldn’t stop himself. John never cared if he started to cry. It was almost as if he didn’t even notice. When he cried, John never stopped yelling or even acknowledged the tears. Peter has since learned that the best thing to do is detach himself from the conversation. He still listens, but he is numb to the insults and anger. He doesn’t really know how to explain it, but he does it every time John gets like this.</p>
<p>John stops yelling and looks at Peter expectantly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that,” Peter states. <br/>“Yeah, you really shouldn’t have. It was rude and I don’t deserve that from you of all people. I mean, what were you thinking? What gave you the right to speak like that to me? What did I do to deserve that? Nothing. You just decided that you didn’t care about anyone else. You should really learn that you’re not the only person on this planet that matters. You have to learn not to be so rude and disrespectful, because if you don’t you’re not going to have any friends. They will all leave you because of how selfish and rude you are. Do you want to lose all of your friends? Because if you don’t change this attitude you will. Nobody will want to be friends with you if you’re like this. Do you understand?” John’s voice has lowered from an ear aching scream to only raised, but it’s still angry. Peter doesn’t know if that will ever change.<br/>“I’m sorry,” Peter says again.<br/>“Good.” John turns back to the tv and ignores Peter until they hear keys unlock the front door ten minutes later.</p>
<p>“Hey guys, I’m home,” May calls from the entrance.<br/>“Hey Aunt May,” Peter says quietly. <br/>“Hey May, how was work?” John calls from his seat, turning around with a smile to face May.<br/>“It was good. Really busy. How was your day,” she calls out to both Peter and John. <br/>John responds first, “It was good, me and Pete were just watching tv together.”<br/>“Oh that’s nice guys. I was thinking  about making pasta for dinner, how does that sound?”<br/>“Lovely,” John responds. Peter gets up from his seat and says that he’s going to his room before walking down the hall. He hears May call back, “okay,” and then continue talking with John.</p>
<p>He gets to his room and flops on his bed. He tries to block out their conversation but even for someone without super hearing it would be hard. The walls in this apartment are super thin. When he can’t take the sound of John’s voice anymore he puts on his suit, courtesy of Tony, and slips out his window into the cool night air.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's chapter three! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Patrolling is Peter’s favourite thing in the entire world. He gets to help people, swing around New York, stop bad guys, and forget about everything for a while. Peter also enjoys talking to Karen - his suit’s AI. After using this suit that Tony made for him, he can’t believe he ever went out in anything else. He’s so grateful to Tony because without him, he’d still be out fighting in a sweatshirt and sweatpants; pajamas essentially, as Tony likes to remind him. Ever since the homecoming fiasco, him and Tony have gotten closer. Whenever the suit needs upgrades Tony always lets Peter help. Tony asks for his opinion on things he’s thought of and even asks Peter if he’s thought of anything to change or add - how cool is that! He goes over to the tower at least once a week to work in the lab and is always just as excited as the time before. He remembered the first time he went inside the lab, he couldn’t believe how big it was. There was everything you could ever wish for, or even imagine, inside. He could work on his web fluid, the coding for his suit, his web shooters, and anything else he could ever need. The new technology in his suit has helped him immensely in crime fighting. He has Karen to tell him when there’s anyone in need of help and so many web combinations that he doesn’t think he’ll ever learn them all, let alone use all of them. It has allowed for Peter to do his job better, he’s helping and saving more people than ever. </p><p>Tonight, he has not had many disturbances. He helped a couple of drunk men back to their apartment, stopped a guy from stealing a bike, and gave some tourists directions, pretty slow so far. He decides to climb an apartment building and sit on the top while waiting for someone else to help. He puts his hands on the brick, then his feet, and starts ascending. He climbs quickly and soon he’s at the top. He pulls himself over the ledge and glances down at the street below his feet, which are now dangling over the edge. It’s just past 1:00 in the morning but there is still quite a lot of movement below. There are taxis taking driving around, people walking on the sidewalks, and people heading to and from the subways. The city truly never does sleep. Peter sees that the rain from earlier leaves the pavement wet so it softly reflects the glow from the lights around, turning the street into a mixture of yellows, greens, and reds. </p><p>With nothing to do, Peter’s thoughts drift back to earlier in the night. Peter feels less numb then he did right after the fight with John, but in its place emerges other emotions. He’s not sure if he prefers them over the numbness. He knows that John was only upset because of how he acted. He knows he shouldn’t have been so rude to him, it’s unfair to John, he was only trying to talk to him. Maybe John was helping him, pointing out his mistake so he wouldn’t be disrespectful to anyone else. Maybe it wasn’t that bad and Peter is just over exaggerating, it’s not like John did anything other than yell at him, it could have been worse. Maybe Peter deserved to be yelled at because he was being rude. Maybe Peter was the one in the wrong, he was the one being bad. </p><p>Before Peter can fall any further into his thoughts, Karen speaks up, “Peter. You have an incoming call from Mr. Stark.”<br/>“Accept it, Karen,” Peter responds. He sees Tony’s contact picture appear in the corner of his vision’s display as it accepts.<br/>“Hey underoos, I see that you’re still out web-slinging even though it’s past your bedtime,” Tony says as his greeting.<br/>“Okay, first of all it’s my curfew, not my bedtime. And I’m sorry, I lost track of time, I’ll head back now,” Peter feels dread seep into his bones at the thought of returning to his apartment where John will be, but tries not to let it show in his voice.<br/>“Why don’t you swing on over here, you're closer to the tower than your apartment and I have a new web combination I want to install in your suit anyways,” Peter feels so relieved at Tony’s words that he releases a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.<br/>“Okay, I’ll see you in a few then,” Peter replies before telling Karen to hang up. He stands on the ledge on the roof and steps off, shooting out a web and catching himself before he hits the ground and swings to the tower. </p><p>Peter knocks on the window of the lab, where Tony almost always is, and laughs to himself when he sees Tony jump a little. Tony stands and walks over to open the window so he can get in. When his feet touch the ground he pulls the mask off his face and looks to Tony. “Jesus kid, were you trying to give me a heart attack? Please take the elevator next time, I don’t need you slipping and falling to your death trying to get in the tower,” Tony says, hand reaching to his chest.<br/>“Okay, Mr. Stark,” Peter replies, knowing full well that he won’t listen. <br/>“So, because it’s already so late how about you go to bed and then we can work in the morning, alright?”<br/>“Okay,” Peter responds, a yawn following right after. Tony smiles and puts his hand on Peter’s shoulder, guiding him to the elevator. Tony talks about some of the specifics for the new web combo and Peter tries to follow along, but he can feel himself zoning out. His mind decided that now was a perfect time to replay some of the things John said to him earlier. He’s trying to focus on Tony’s words, but he can feel himself going numb again. He can hear John’s voice telling him about everything he’s done wrong. Peter thinks he hears Tony say something about making his webs have a longer range and retractability maybe? He can’t focus enough to tell. He rubs his eyes and realizes that they’re at the guest room door. Tony must mistake his distractedness for exhaustion because he tells Peter to go right to bed. “Goodnight Tony,” Peter says quietly.<br/>“Goodnight kid, I’ll text May and let her know that you’re staying here, and tell FRIDAY if you need anything,” Tony responds and Peter nods before he opens the door and walks in, closing it behind him. He changes into some comfortable shorts and a t-shirt before crashing on the huge bed. Tony had bought some generic clothes for Peter after he had stayed over the first time and just slept in the clothes he came in. He really likes staying at the tower, it’s so nice; he feels like he can really relax when he’s here. Peter wraps the soft blankets around himself and closes his eyes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, I've had a lot going on and haven't had much time to write, but here is chapter four!!! I hope you guys enjoy it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter wakes up slowly. He can’t hear much, which is a pleasant change. When Peter told Tony about his enhanced senses, the man had done everything he could think of to make Peter comfortable. He added special protocols to his suit and when Peter started staying over at the tower, Tony had made the guest room soundproof for him. This guest bedroom has basically turned into Peter’s room. He has clothes in the dresser, a pair of his shoes by the door, left from last time when he went home in his suit, and a desk Tony put in for Peter to do his homework on. He opens his eyes and sees that it is already quite bright outside. The peacefulness he feels doesn’t last long. Now he's anxious, his stomach tensing and his thoughts racing. He knows that Tony texted May to tell her he was staying here and she probably told John, but that doesn't quell his worries. What if John is mad that he didn’t come home? What if he didn’t want Peter to stay this late in the morning? Will he start yelling as soon as Peter walks in? What if he’s mad that Peter didn’t tell him directly? Or if he didn’t know until late? Before Peter’s anxiety can build anymore FRIDAY interrupts his thoughts, “Good morning Peter, it is 10am on this Sunday morning. Tony is in the kitchen if you were wondering of his whereabouts.” When Peter hears the time, if possible, his anxiety worsens and he can’t stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’.</p><p>Peter quickly rips the blankets off of himself and jumps out of bed. He grabs his shoes, carrying them out into the hall. He quickly walks the familiar route to the kitchen where he sees Tony sitting on a stool at the island. Tony scrolls on a tablet and drinks what Peter knows is coffee. He slows his pace and walks up, trying to appear casual when he feels like he’s going to explode. He stands opposite the man and watches Tony’s gaze raise to meet his own. “Hey Pete,” Tony greets with a familiar smile on his face.<br/>
“Hey,” Peter responds, trying to smile as genuinely as he can. If Tony notices the smile is fake, he doesn’t show it. “I should probably be heading back now.”<br/>
“What? Already? You just woke up and we didn’t even get to work on the suit yet,” Tony says as he stands to refill his coffee cup.<br/>
“Yeah, I have to do some stuff with May today,” Peter lies. He knows it sounds lame, but he's too nervous to think of a better excuse. He just hopes Tony doesn’t know that May works today.<br/>
“Okay. Do you want a ride back? I can text Happy?”<br/>
“That’s okay Mr. Stark, I don’t mind making my own way back.”<br/>
“No, don’t worry about it Peter. Let Happy drive you, I’m sure he won’t mind,” Tony responds, pulling out his phone from the back pocket of his pants.<br/>
“Okay,” Peter says, but he truly wishes he didn’t agree. Driving takes longer than running with all the traffic there is - thanks New York - and he doesn’t want to waste any time, but he also doesn’t want to upset Tony by arguing about a ride, or worse, make him suspicious. He feels his muscles tense when he thinks about how slow the drive is going to be; the later he is, the angrier John will be.<br/>
“Great, do you have anything else you need to grab?” Peter shakes his head so Tony continues, “Okay then, head down to the garage, Happy’s down there. See you soon, okay?”<br/>
“Yeah. Bye Tony!” Peter calls as he makes his way over to the elevator, moving as fast as he can without seeming like he’s in a rush. </p><p>He meets Happy in the garage and climbs into the back seat of the car, pulling the door shut behind him. “Hey Happy,” Peter greets while putting his seatbelt on.<br/>
“Hi,” Happy says as he pulls out and starts the drive back to his apartment. Happy isn’t the most talkative, which is more than fine with Peter right now because he couldn’t hold a conversation if he tried. He just stares out the window and bounces his leg. He wishes they could go faster because his stomach tenses more the longer they drive and his thoughts won’t stop racing with all of the ways John will react when he gets back. </p><p>They finally reach his apartment and Peter says a quick goodbye to Happy. He doesn't even wait for a response before he closes his door and jogs to the entrance and up the stairs. When he reaches his door, he hesitates, just long enough to take a deep breath in, and unlocks the door with his key and turns the knob. </p><p>As soon as Peter steps inside he can feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He steps quietly as he shuts the door and takes off his shoes. Walking further into the apartment Peter doesn’t hear much, but a second later he can hear John yelling. Peter rushes to where he hears his voice coming from and ends up at John and May’s bedroom. The door is open but Peter can barely understand what John is saying over the sound of his pounding heart. He strains his ears to listen, pushing himself against the wall beside the door so he won’t be seen. He can now make out what John is saying and tries to piece together what he's upset about. “What is wrong with you? Are you trying to give me a fucking migraine? Why the fuck were you smashing all the plates together when you were putting them away?” John’s booming voice yells. Ah. So he’s mad about how May was putting the dishes away, one of the more common things John gets upset over.<br/>
“It was an accident. I wasn’t tryi-” May tries to respond before she’s cut off, Peter can hear the tears in her voice.<br/>
“My ass it was an accident. That was not an accident May. Don’t you lie to me now. Why can’t you just apologize? Huh? Is it really that hard?” Peter steps away from his spot against the wall and goes to walk past the door frame. He wants to go to his room to get away from John. He feels awful doing nothing for May, but he has learned that standing up to him does more harm than good. </p><p>Peter can’t do anything against him and his rage, he’s helpless. Peter is not anything other than a scared teenager right now, all the bravery and confidence he has in his suit is lost the moment he takes it off. He can’t fight John, or stand up for May right now, he’s just a scared kid. He tries to move past the door quickly and escape, but with his mind so frazzled his spider sense doesn’t warn him of the creak in the floor, as it normally does. He steps right on it and freezes. John turns around and faces Peter, his face is red and there is more fury in his eyes than Peter has ever seen. He's caught, and now he will suffer. </p><p>“Peter. Why the fuck did you leave last night? I opened your bedroom door and found you gone. No text or anything. Then I find out from May that you won’t be back until this morning?” John’s anger and aggression is now directed completely on him. Peter backs up until he is flush against the wall opposite the door when John starts stepping towards him. His voice is now a maniacal scream, “Why the fuck did you leave, Peter. You really thought that you could just go and there would be no consequences? Did you think we wouldn’t notice you were gone? You have no right to leave this house without my permission,” As he yells he keeps walking closer and closer until he is standing inches away from Peter, screaming into his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you Peter? Answer me. What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You?” At this point, May steps forward from behind John and tries to get him to back away from Peter. She puts one hand on his arm, which is raised, pointing at Peter’s face, and the other on his back, trying to steer him away. “Come on John. I’m sure he’s sorry,” May says in a quiet voice. Peter thinks that maybe John will listen to May, but then his rage turns on her. “What the fuck are you doing? Don’t you fucking push me May. Don’t you fucking push me. Get your fucking hands off me. I said GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!” Peter has been scared by John’s rage countless times before, but he has never been as scared as he is now. This is the angriest he has ever seen John. Peter is frozen against the wall, helplessly watching John walk towards May while she stumbles backwards, quietly begging, “Please John, Please,” over and over again. Peter is sure that John is going to hit her, but he can’t move. He so desperately wants to help May, but it's like all of his muscles have locked in place. He is so scared, a little for himself, but mostly for May, but he can’t move. No matter how hard he tries, he can only watch John advance on May, until her back is against the wall and John is towering over her. John continues to scream, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUSH ME?” John finishes yelling and pauses, breathing hard and glaring at May, almost as if daring her to speak back to him. Peter holds his breath, waiting for John to raise his hand and hit her, but the blow that Peter expects never comes. John turns around when she’s silent. He walks down the hall, still fuming, and doesn’t even glance at Peter when he passes him. Peter and May hear John open the front door before he slams it behind him. Even though Peter knows he’s gone, he’s still frozen in place.</p>
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